Montgomery Smashing The Stigma
The statistics tell a clear story. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that one in five Americans live with a mental health condition. With the support of our City Council, the City began a mental health initiative to help break the stigma. As a small local government, providing treatment for mental illness was not feasible. Still, the City believes we are responsible for being a conduit and connecting people with groups and solutions that are out there when they need it most.
Montgomery Smashing The Stigma
Brian Valasek - The Difference Between Stress, Anxiety and Depression
In this episode, we break down the differences between stress, anxiety, and depression. Learn how each affects mental health, their unique symptoms, and when to seek help.
Brian Valasek is dedicated to helping you step out of your comfort zone to discover your most authentic self. Courageously facing your core problem head-on may be the most difficult and rewarding pursuit of your life. Counseling provides the support and tools necessary to take this journey that leads to healing and growth.
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Over the last 18 years, Brian has helped hundreds of people through valleys of shame, social anxiety, and addiction to a place where self-awareness, assertiveness and self-esteem thrive. These experiences have helped him redefine a problem as an opportunity to grow, learn, and live into our purpose, passion and gifts as we strive toward our full potential.
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Brian does not claim to have the golden path to recovery, but he has traveled down some of these same roads himself and believes that his personal experience and perspectives helps him help you better. The insight you gain in therapy and the actions you take as a result of therapy have the power to change the course of your life. We invite you to reach out and take your first step toward freedom.
Brian specializes in addiction, anxiety, social anxiety, assertive communication and self-esteem with adults and older adults.
Beyond Your Valley
City of Montgomery
Hi everyone, I'm Connie Gaylor, and welcome to Montgomery's Smashing the Stigma podcast.
AMY FREDERICK:And I'm Amy Frederick. Joining us on the podcast is Brian Valasek, steward and owner of Beyond Your Valley. Beyond Your Valley is located in Blue Ash, Ohio. It offers mental health counseling, psychiatric services to overcome trauma, addiction, depression, and anxiety.
CONNIE GAYLOR:Today, we want to talk about the difference between stress, anxiety and depression. When is anxiety real anxiety or just going through some stressful times? And when is depression real depression? Or maybe you're just going through a tough patch, you know, some sadness. You know, that's kind of we kind of want to put some definitions behind that and see if there is a clear, you know, delineation between them or if they're kind of just related. As we go into it a little bit deeper, what would your thoughts be on that?
BRIAK VALASEK:That's a great question. Um, the. And there is, there is some delineation and some crossover. So that's why it's a hard question to answer. The best way I've ever conceptualized this, um, and I want to include stress. So anxiety, stress and depression because you mentioned stress as well. So anxiety is worry or stuckness about the future. Depression is worry or stuckness in the past, and stress is worry or stuckness in the present or near future. So that's the best way to understand it. So you say I'm stressed. That means you got too much stuff on your plate to handle. Right. So it's a lot of it's related to tasks or perceived tasks or pressures or perceived pressures that you have or putting on yourself or whatever. So that's stress. We all have a lot of stress because we all like to be busy. We wear that like a badge of honor. So. So some more than others. So you want to figure out what's what's. So when do you know if it's just worry and sort of situational anxiety almost. And situational depression versus some clinical diagnostic something that needs to be treated right. I think that's part of the answer is is it situational. So anxiety is um, you're worrying about everything all of the time. You have a pattern, a habit, a tendency to worry about everything. You wish you could stop it, but you can't turn it off. So your mind races with thought after thought after thought. What if, what if, what if? Catastrophizing it's going to get worse. Worst case scenario not realistic. Worst case scenario, but like worst case scenario that you could possibly imagine, and then you act like that's you sort of plan for that to happen. You also might have, um, beliefs about worry itself that are unhelpful, like worry. All worrying helps me plan now. Some worrying helps you plan. So I think it's like. It's like a chronic worry that guides your life. That's anxiety that needs to be treated. We would call that generalized anxiety. There's all types of other anxiety, which is probably not a surprise. It can be more specific to social or there's a specific you're worried about illnesses things like that. So that's anxiety. I hope that answers your question. I mean, again, we need a measure of anxiety. If you tell me I don't have any anxiety, I'm like, how are you living? Because you need you need a little bit of like pressure or worry because if you weren't worried about anything, you wouldn't plan for anything. You wouldn't do anything, you wouldn't accomplish anything. Right? So we need a little bit of of that. Um, it sparks creativity to some extent. So, um, that's anxiety. Okay? Depression, I mean, I see it. I see it. We're two ways. Some people. Some people overuse the word. I'm depressed when they're really. When it's really situational sadness that's appropriate to the situation. Um, depression would be it's lasting longer than you would expect given that situation or there's no situation to point it to. It's just a deep, heavy feeling that comes over you, that you start to believe the lies of depression, like the depression is wicked. Um, you're you're not good enough. It's not going to work. It's not going to matter. So you feel hopeless, you feel helpless, and you feel stuck, and you nothing you can do about it and nobody else can help you either. So all the lies of depression. There's some in the book there DSM their symptoms, I call them lies of depression because they're it's the feeling becomes I feel depressed, so I am depressed. So I'm going to keep doing depressed things. I'm going to lay in bed for 16 hours. Whatever the case may be, I'm going to eat all day. I'm going to never eat whatever. So those are the symptoms. That's when you know it's a problem, right? It starts to affect your functioning on a day to day basis. And you can't you're not doing everything you normally would. Right. So some people will use work. Oh I go to work and I'm happy at work. And then I veg out and I'm a blob at home. Are you depressed? Probably just because you can turn it on at work doesn't mean you're. You know what I mean? So and so to look it can hide. We may even know people where we've, uh, we loved ones and even coworkers or employees that have hidden their depression. And it's, um, so that's why it's important that we talk about it, because it can take so many shapes and you're not. The person with depression is not incentivized to talk about it because he or she does not believe it's going to make any difference.
AMY FREDERICK:So what? You. What can you do? So say, for instance, you see a loved one. They seem down. But when when should you become. And everybody has their moments of feeling down. But when should you? How, when should you tell them. You know that it's time to seek help? And then how do you get them to do that? Because it's one thing if you recognize it in yourself, but it's another thing when you see a loved one that's all of a sudden done a 180, and how do you convince them that it's time to seek help?
BRIAK VALASEK:You said three interesting things you said. You said, tell them, get them and convince them. So basically, you would not do those things. You would more listen to what's really going on. Ask them how have they been feeling, what they've been noticing, share them. Share with them what you've been noticing and that you're concerned about them. And I think I think one of the more effective questions is, after all of that exploration of what they're experiencing and your observations is, what would you like to do something about it? What have you considered doing about it? Have you considered doing therapy? Not you should do therapy.
AMY FREDERICK:No, I think that's a great difference, because I think some people are kind of like me. You just want to get in there and fix it, and that's not going to work.
BRIAK VALASEK:Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know anybody who's ever followed advice from anyone else. No. Advice is advice is the lowest form of help. It can be. It can be very powerful if the person has, if you've established authority and rapport with that person. But it's also not empowering. You want somebody with who's seeking mental health, mental wellness, emotional wellness support. You want them to take the first move that's empowering. Now they feel like, hey, it goes from hopeless to some measure of hope just because they're the ones that picked up the phone. Although it's heavy if they. If they pick up the phone metaphorically because we don't do that anymore. If you send an email or text and then you're there, that's already momentum. So you want them to do it.
AMY FREDERICK:So let's go back to when you were talking about anxiety. Yeah. What are some ways that you treat anxiety or how do you cope. What do you what would you tell somebody how to cope?
BRIAK VALASEK:Um, not a coping expert. Um, basically find different outlets for your anxiety, but I would say also different uses for your anxiety. I would, I would help that person look for where their anxiety is actually helpful to channel that anxious energy into something productive. And then how do you define where help help that person figure out where is it excessive. And then with the excessive we're only working on the excessive. That's why we don't want to get rid of all of it. It's not bad. It's a thing. It's a feeling. So, um. So using that excessive. What do you do with that? Excessive energy? Uh, anxious energy or anxious thought? Well, meditation is helpful, mindful activities. And the first thing somebody with anxiety is going to say when you say you should do mindfulness is my mind is racing. This ain't going to work. Well, noticing that your mind racing is doing mindfulness. And the goal isn't to to clear your mind of all things. The goal is to notice what you're noticing. So mindfulness is a great tool. Journaling is a great tool. Um, nature going outside is a great tool. Connecting with other people, sharing them, what you're thinking about and feeling, doing stuff that gives you a sense of purpose. All of those are things that are helpful for anxiety. And and I suppose A lot of those would be helpful for depression too.
AMY FREDERICK:Is that how you start when you treat depression with that sort of level, or do you? Is medication involved for some people?
BRIAK VALASEK:Yeah, it's certainly medication is. And that is a part for some people. And where you start depends on where people come in. I think for most people, yes, you would start with how are you. How are you coping with it? How are you handling it right now? What are you already doing? Well, what can you do more of?
CONNIE GAYLOR:Well, I think it's unique to the person. Yeah. So I'm sure that it's, you know, it's there's not just one standard type of answer that you can get, but there's got to be some kind of an initial conversation. And then that's how you determine, you know, where how that treatment goes. I mean, is it with a counselor who's just talking things through because maybe that's all that person needs? Or is it psychiatric care like we were talking before? Now, it may require some kind of a medication or a different type of therapy that a counselor can't do. So it's one of those things that it does. We talked about there's no clear delineation because a lot of times it overlaps it.
BRIAK VALASEK:So, so so yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of my head is swimming with this is basically somebody you realize when you start unpacking things how deep the anxiety runs or how elaborate it is or how entrenched it is, and then then it's like, well, we're going to need some medications on board so that we can start figuring this out and parsing it out because you're too anxious just sitting here. That's another metric of when you would need if you if you're distracted by if you're doing if you're doing trauma work and you're distracted by, um, flashbacks, nightmares and you can't sleep and you haven't slept for three days, I mean, whatever you need, you got to look on like Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the foundational levels of our our physical needs and emotional and then love and belonging and everything else as you go up. But yeah, the answer is it depends. Yeah. Um, but here's what here's another thought I'm thinking about is so for for anxiety, you said Amy, you said what treatment? Well, a lot of behavioral therapy, a lot of action oriented. Um, sort of. If you're afraid of something, go do that thing. Right. Either systematic desensitization or gradual exposure. It's called or flooding. Most people, if you give them the two choices, they're going to say, no, don't throw me in a snake pit. Um, they're going to say, let's, let's work our way up to this. Um, a simple example with social anxiety would be start a conversation. You're afraid of what people will think. Well, confront that. Get into that. Say, say. Say something. Say it. Or you could do it sort of, paradoxically, and act like an idiot and then sort of, sort of brush up against that belief that you are an idiot and you realize, oh, the world didn't end when I acted like an idiot. So whatever. I guess everything's okay or things are okay. So. So for anxiety, there's a lot of behavioral or cognitive behavioral. A lot of it's thought based. Those can be very helpful. I have found, however, as a CBT therapist myself, that for depression that's not where you start. It's essentially, um, stigmatizing, demoralizing. Well, you just need to if the person across from you is getting the sense that all you need to do is change your thinking when they're entrenched in this thinking, because the depression is so strong that they believe that what depression is telling them is true. It's so rigid in the thinking, you can't change that. You cannot start there. So for depression, the first order of business is movement. Like physical movement. Just you don't feel like doing it. You, you. What are you going to do despite the fact that you don't feel like doing it. This isn't going to be just like happy clappy. Do whatever. Do what makes you feel good. You're going to have to do. Half of the answer is doing what you don't want to do, but you know it's good for you. And so physical movement starts to get your brain in a different orientation. It starts to open up things. You start to see new things. Instead of just sitting on the couch staring at the tube, telling yourself the same story over and over.
CONNIE GAYLOR:Well, that's thought provoking in itself, isn't it? Thinking about, you know, just our tendencies to not get outside of our comfort zone and hope that we can get healing and treatment. And I know that, you know, counselors and psychiatrists kind of meet you where you're at, but they're not going to leave you where you're at. And that's the biggest thing. You can't expect to be left where you're at, but yet overcome or or move out of that. And I think that's where anxiety and depression keeps people. It keeps you, you know, stuck as you keep saying Right where you are. Um, which is this is a great conversation to have because, you know, people need to hear just the real life of how this works and not just read it on a screen. You know, people who work in the industry or, you know, maybe have sought treatment and and know that you have to put some hard work in, but it would be beneficial to you in the end, you know? Absolutely. Well, we thank you for coming in, Brian, and and sharing with us.
AMY FREDERICK:Why don't you give us your contact information again.
BRIAK VALASEK:So beyond your valley.com. Uh, our main phone number is 513348 1780. Um, you can reach us through our website there. Um, as well, if you're trying to learn more about us or start therapy or, and you can call me directly. My cell is (513) 345-0741. If you want more information about Beyond Your Valley.
CONNIE GAYLOR:Thank you for joining us, Brian. And we want to thank you for listening.